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24x24 Oil on cradled panel
From My Original Instagram Post:
Working Title: “New Year’s Resolution: Be The Kind of Woman The Church Would Have Burned 400 Years Ago”
New painting, still on the easel, and I might need to tweak it, but I wanted to get this one out because it’s about my New Year’s resolution.
The title of this painting is a meme I came across on the interwebz and it got me thinking.
Short story time: Thinking is not my friend. Especially when I’m thinking about that weird or inappropriate comment I made once, five years ago, that wakes me up every night at around three in the morning. Three am is never a good time to start thinking.
The End.
Where was I? Right, the Church burning witches.
If I were in Salem in the late 1600s, I’d most certainly have been tried as a witch, and if I’m honest, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance the allegations would have been true.
Examples of things I’d be on trial for:
· Spoiling the crops of that asshole who told me I should smile more.
· Hexing that guy who assumed I was mad because I was on my period.
· Poisoning that idiot who told me to make him a sandwich.
I would say “guilty as charged” but there’s no statute of limitations on murder so I’m innocent until you find the murder weapon and you can’t, because the dumbass ate it.
Before I forget, I’d like to take issue with the whole “making pacts with the Devil to afflict others through spectral torment” being illegal thing. Who hasn’t wished the mean-girl in high school would someday suffer from persistent, untreatable diarrhea? That’s not even a misdemeanor, imho.
Anyway, I went down a brief Salem Witch Trial rabbit hole (so you won’t have to) and I read an article on a site about civil liberties, and it said the first question in a witch trial was “What evil spirit have you familiarity with?” which sounds an awful lot like “How often do you beat your wife?” ... right?
Gah!
Anyhoo… Wishing you all a Very Happy and Healthy New Year! Enjoy some spirits, evil or otherwise, and don't be afraid to do something that’ll piss off the Puritans. Those fuckers ask the dumbest questions.
Happy New Year!
24x24 Oil on cradled panel
From My Original Instagram Post:
Working Title: “New Year’s Resolution: Be The Kind of Woman The Church Would Have Burned 400 Years Ago”
New painting, still on the easel, and I might need to tweak it, but I wanted to get this one out because it’s about my New Year’s resolution.
The title of this painting is a meme I came across on the interwebz and it got me thinking.
Short story time: Thinking is not my friend. Especially when I’m thinking about that weird or inappropriate comment I made once, five years ago, that wakes me up every night at around three in the morning. Three am is never a good time to start thinking.
The End.
Where was I? Right, the Church burning witches.
If I were in Salem in the late 1600s, I’d most certainly have been tried as a witch, and if I’m honest, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance the allegations would have been true.
Examples of things I’d be on trial for:
· Spoiling the crops of that asshole who told me I should smile more.
· Hexing that guy who assumed I was mad because I was on my period.
· Poisoning that idiot who told me to make him a sandwich.
I would say “guilty as charged” but there’s no statute of limitations on murder so I’m innocent until you find the murder weapon and you can’t, because the dumbass ate it.
Before I forget, I’d like to take issue with the whole “making pacts with the Devil to afflict others through spectral torment” being illegal thing. Who hasn’t wished the mean-girl in high school would someday suffer from persistent, untreatable diarrhea? That’s not even a misdemeanor, imho.
Anyway, I went down a brief Salem Witch Trial rabbit hole (so you won’t have to) and I read an article on a site about civil liberties, and it said the first question in a witch trial was “What evil spirit have you familiarity with?” which sounds an awful lot like “How often do you beat your wife?” ... right?
Gah!
Anyhoo… Wishing you all a Very Happy and Healthy New Year! Enjoy some spirits, evil or otherwise, and don't be afraid to do something that’ll piss off the Puritans. Those fuckers ask the dumbest questions.
Happy New Year!