Some Available Work for J.O.G.
More Available Work
18×18 Oil on cradled panel
many thanks to https://www.instagram.com/negative_recovery/ for allowing me to use their photo as a reference.
This painting is currently available at https://www.sugartownart.com/
24x24 Oil over acrylic on cradled panel
Based on an image I created using AI, then used that as a reference for this painting.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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18×18 Oil over acrylic on cradled panel
Available through: https://www.sugartownart.com/
24x24 Oil on cradled panel
Available through: https://www.sugartownart.com/
From My Original Instagram Post:
Working Title: “New Year’s Resolution: Be The Kind of Woman The Church Would Have Burned 400 Years Ago”
New painting, still on the easel, and I might need to tweak it, but I wanted to get this one out because it’s about my New Year’s resolution.
The title of this painting is a meme I came across on the interwebz and it got me thinking.
Short story time: Thinking is not my friend. Especially when I’m thinking about that weird or inappropriate comment I made once, five years ago, that wakes me up every night at around three in the morning. Three am is never a good time to start thinking.
The End.
Where was I? Right, the Church burning witches.
If I were in Salem in the late 1600s, I’d most certainly have been tried as a witch, and if I’m honest, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance the allegations would have been true.
Examples of things I’d be on trial for:
· Spoiling the crops of that asshole who told me I should smile more.
· Hexing that guy who assumed I was mad because I was on my period.
· Poisoning that idiot who told me to make him a sandwich.
I would say “guilty as charged” but there’s no statute of limitations on murder so I’m innocent until you find the murder weapon and you can’t, because the dumbass ate it.
Before I forget, I’d like to take issue with the whole “making pacts with the Devil to afflict others through spectral torment” being illegal thing. Who hasn’t wished the mean-girl in high school would someday suffer from persistent, untreatable diarrhea? That’s not even a misdemeanor, imho.
Anyway, I went down a brief Salem Witch Trial rabbit hole (so you won’t have to) and I read an article on a site about civil liberties, and it said the first question in a witch trial was “What evil spirit have you familiarity with?” which sounds an awful lot like “How often do you beat your wife?” ... right?
Gah!
Anyhoo… Wishing you all a Very Happy and Healthy New Year! Enjoy some spirits, evil or otherwise, and don't be afraid to do something that’ll piss off the Puritans. Those fuckers ask the dumbest questions.
Happy New Year!
10x10 oil over acrylic on cradled panel
This is a mashup of a Barbara Kruger collage and a “mean girls” meme. Ms. Kruger gave us a visual language to scrutinize who has power and to question gender roles.
I was a kid when Roe v. Wade gave women the right to reproductive freedom, at a time when women couldn’t even open a bank account without a man’s signature.
I was a married woman in 1989 when laws gutting Roe were passed and many were trying to outlaw birth control. That same year Kruger created her iconic work: "Your Body is a Battleground". Not even fifty years later, the Supreme Court overturned Roe because it’s better for politicians to be in charge of our reproductive health, apparently? (Bodily autonomy was nice while it lasted, I guess).
No offense to Ms. Kruger, but I'm looking forward to the day when “Your Body is a Battleground” is no longer relevant. Unfortunately, that day is not today.
10x10 oil over acrylic on cradled panel
This painting pays homage to Barbara Kruger, who always nailed the assignment. I bet she’d have a thing or two to say about little girls being made of “sugar and spice and everything nice.” As a tomboy myself, this feels like an insult to all the messy and not perfectly sweet lives of actual little girls, who shouldn’t be told they have to be nice all the time. I’d even go so far as to say, politeness can kill you. Don’t believe me? Ask the women who helped Ted Bundy (with his fake-cast) put stuff in his car.
Oh that’s right ...
You can’t.
Because they were killed.
Girls are taught to stay small and apologize, (even when they aren’t at fault). Did you see that documentary about the Mormon cult leader Warren S. Jeffs? Called “Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey”? Blech. So yeah, I rail against the idea of teaching little girls that they’re made of sugar and spice and everything nice because some of us are made of skinned knees, and black eyes from fighting little assholes who said girls weren’t allowed in the tree fort. Ahem.
I was a tomboy (and I know that comes as a shock to absolutely no one). My mom wanted me to play with dolls. I wanted to engage in fancy swordplay with sticks, because I saw Star Wars and needed to practice my sweet light saber moves. Or, if you believe the internet, maybe I liked playing with sticks because Mom was right after all, and I wasn’t going to be happy until someone lost an eye.
Oh! I just thought of an alternate title for this painting: Fuck Your Expectations.
What Walks Are Like When My Dog Sees A Squirrel
12×36 oil on cradled panel.
From my Instagram post:
I'm assuming this is a game of Tug of War. Is that when someone tries to take your rope?
(I don't know how sports work).
When I saw this image on the Library of Congress site, it reminded me of our dog Fergus and what he was like on a leash when he saw another dog or a small animal. He was 1/4 terrier and 3/4 personality and a very ruff-n-tumble little man. He weighed about 13 lbs and liked to mix it up with the neighbors' 90 lb Rhodesian Ridgeback/Plott-Hound. Thankfully, the Ridgeback mix, named Bob(<--- Don't you love that?) was a gentle giant and somehow, Fergus never got injured when they played.
We still miss him terribly.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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24×36 oil on cradled panel
No one will ever entertain us as much as us.
Many thanks to @secretlifeofnell for allowing me to use their found photo as a reference!
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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36x60 Oil on Canvas
from my instagram post:
A boy and his boston.
As has previously been established, I love dogs more than Scrooge McDuck loves money ... or more than Batman loves gadgets ... or even more than Shaggy & Scooby love Scooby Snacks ... (I could do this all day) ... so i was immediately drawn to this photo.
I also loved the Norman Rockwell-esque-ness of the image. Sentimental? Who, me? Pffft.
I decided to go big on this one ... 36" x 60". I really enjoy working large, though, I'm going to need a bigger table for varnishing. Oh ... and a bigger easel. And probably a bigger storage room to hold all my unsold paintings. 🙃 #artistproblems
Many, many thanks to @anonymousphotoproject for allowing me to use this magnificent found photo as a reference. 🙏
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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16x20 Oil on Panel. Black Floater Frame.
Alternate title: Hello, 911? My Brothers Stole My Doll and They Won't Give Her Back
From my instagram post:
Hello, 911? My Brothers Stole My Doll and They Won't Give Her Back
I know! It's a long title! I'm really bad at this, you guys.
Please submit better titles in comments. Winner gets ... um ... to name this painting. 😁 And also, my everlasting gratitude. 🙏
Many thanks to @secretlifeofnell for allowing me to use their photo as a reference!
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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24x36 oil on panel
from my instagram post:
Sure, you can laugh now, but those mutton chops would have been smokin' hawt in Victorian England.
Who wore it best:
Martin Van Buren
Elvis Presley
Or this guy
I'm going with this guy.
My thanks to @houseofmirthphotos for allowing me to use their found photo as reference. House of Mirth Photos is a buyer and seller of vintage snapshots and photo albums for over 20 years. Follow them on Instagram, check out their website houseofmirthphotos.com or visit their gallery in Easthampton, Mass.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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24x36 oil on panel
My mom loved tea. She was from the UK, and if there's one thing British people love more than a pint ... it's a nice cup of ... well ... there's really nothing they love more than a pint. But if you took away ALL their beer ... there'd be nothing they love more than a ... well, probably a dram of whiskey. Okay, so take away all their alcohol, and their favorite drink would definitely be tea.
They especially enjoy their tea with biscuits. Oddly, their biscuits look and taste almost exactly like what we call cookies.
And you'd be forgiven for thinking the British secretly enjoy confusing Americans. It's like when they call diapers "nappies" when they have little, if anything to do with napping. Or when they call erasers "rubbers" when they ... oh wait. Okay, I see it now ...
They also have a thing called a scone. Scones are just like biscuits, if you prefer your biscuits to be hard and crumbly as opposed to soft and flakey. But once covered in enough jam and clotted cream, you can't even tell they taste like disappointment. (Britain has a well earned reputation for it's bland cuisine and their scones are definitely on brand.)
Many thanks to @anonymousphotoproject for allowing me to use their photo as a reference. "The Anonymous Project is dedicated to collecting and preserving mid-century colour slides from around the world. Started in 2017 by filmmaker Lee Shulman, the project brings to light Kodachrome memories of found amateur photographs, taken from the 1950s through to the 1980s."
#vintagephoto #vernacularphotography #oilpainting #originaloilpainting #tea #retro #foundphoto
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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16x20 Oil on Panel. Black Floater Frame.
Many thanks to @secretlifeofnell for allowing me to use their photo as a reference!
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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36x36 oil on canvas. Black frame.
from my instagram post:
When I first saw this reference photo, it reminded me of my dad, taking me and my brothers to museums when we were little. Mom generally didn't go. (Probably for reasons of sanity.)
I remember the first time we went to the Franklin Institute. It has a giant beating heart that you can walk thru. I learned so much from that exhibit! For example, I learned that I'm terrified of giant beating hearts!
(Google it. It's ghastly.)
The giant beating heart also acts as an experiment: It can tell you whether or not you have claustrophobia. Turns out, I do. Though whether or not I already had claustrophobia, or developed it by being inside an enclosed space with the theme song from Jaws playing loudly through speakers, science will never know. (Chicken/egg.)
I just wanted to enjoy a day at a museum without having a panic attack and being forced to face my own mortality ... was that too much to ask?
At the end of the day, my dad allowed me and my two brothers to each buy one thing from the gift shop. This, in turn, allowed the Franklin Institute to buy a whole new wing of exhibits.
Many thanks to @negative_recovery_project for allowing me to use their photo as a reference! 🙏💙
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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8x8 oil on linen board, black floater frame
smidge /smij/ noun informal a very small amount or part
I think the title says it all.
Many thanks to IG: @secretlifeofnell for allowing me to use their found photo as reference!
Sister Toss 24x36 oil on panel.
Many thanks to @anonymousphotoproject for allowing me to use their photo as a reference. "The Anonymous Project is dedicated to collecting and preserving mid-century colour slides from around the world. Started in 2017 by filmmaker Lee Shulman, the project brings to light Kodachrome memories of found amateur photographs, taken from the 1950s through to the 1980s."
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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20x16 Oil on Canvas. Black Floater Frame.
From original Instagram post:
I almost called this one “No, She Will NOT Make You a Sandwich”, but my husband didn’t know what I was talking about. Which I guess is a good thing, since the phrase, “shut up and make me a sandwich” is something misogynist trolls say on the Internet, when a woman has an opinion.
The title “Fragile Like a Bomb” comes from the phrase: “Not fragile like a flower, fragile like a bomb.” By Frida Kahlo. At least, I think this was a Kahlo quote. I asked, but Google wasn't quite sure. It might have been RBG. I was unable to confirm because Google sent me down a rabbit hole of "strong women" memes, which I have lots of opinions about. Now, I can’t finish writing my thoughts about this painting, because I have to go pick a fight with a misogynist troll on twitter. Thanks a lot, Google.
The original image is a “found photo” in the collection of @houseofmirthphoto on Instagram. Many thanks to them for allowing me to paint their photo. The original was in black and white (which I love), but I decided to give this colorful lady some color.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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18x18 oil on panel.
from my instagram post:
His hot dogs bring all the girls to the yard.
Many thanks to FB: The Anonymous Photo Project
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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Work In Progress …. Update 1-27-26 … These two are done and can be found above.
working title: I saw hat you did for a Klondike Bar. Call Me. | 24x36 oil on cradled panel
working title: The Gang I Want To Join in the Zombie Apocolypse | 18x18 oil on cradled panel
Fan Art Examples (these are avail)
20x16, oil and acrylic on canvas, black floater frame
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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20x16 Oil on cradled board, black floater frame. Will Ferrell SNL.
This painting is currently available at http://www.beaconart.net/ Beacon Art in Stone Harbor, NJ.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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20x16 Oil on cradled board, black floater frame.
SHIPPING: This painting is available for local delivery (near West Chester PA). If you would like a quote on shipping, please use this form:
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8x8 oil on panel. black floater frame
I'd probably be a supervillain too if my parents had named me Oswald Cobblepot. Aaaand the winner of The Best Quacking Cackle goes to: Burgess Meredith, the original "Aristocrat of crookery".
8x8 oil on panel. black floater frame
Cesar Romero wasn't my FAVORITE Joker ... I mean, the guy couldn't even get rid of his mustache for the part? Cheesus. I mean, Christian Bale ate one can of tuna and an apple a day to lose 63 pounds for his role in The Machinist, you'd think the least Cesar could do is shave his 'stache. Didn't anyone tell him, it'll grow back? Sheesh.
The best Joker is probably Heath Ledger, but if you said it's Joaquin Phoenix, I wouldn't fight you.
On the other hand! If you say it's Jared Leto, we can never be friends.
24x36 oil on cradled panel
This was a fun one. I used a “found photo” (from The Anonymous Photo Project) and with the help of AI, because Photoshop and I have never been friends, I fixed her hair and gave her some shades. Not sure, but I think she’d thank me? Or maybe she wanted to look like Napoleon Dynamite’s older sister? We’ll never know.
Many thanks to @anonymousphotoproject for allowing me to use their photo as a reference. https://www.facebook.com/anonymousphotoproject/
This painting is currently available at GoggleWorks Center for the Arts!